Pouring Rain

It's been a figurative downpour these last couple weeks...

I'm having contractions on a pretty regular basis, but nothing that turns into anything substantial. After 5 hours of contractions one night, Baby's heart rate increased into the 170's (it should be in the 140's to 150's). It went down eventually, but I was told to go in to the hospital the next morning for a no stress test. They wanted to make sure Baby didn't have the cord wrapped around his/her neck or anything like that. Baby's fine, just enjoying the opportunity to play with parental expectations, I guess!

Friday of last week we got a call that my paternal grandmother was in a car accident with a Ford F350 pick-up towing a goose neck trailer of metal pipes. The accident was Grandma's fault; those in the truck had only minor injuries, but Grandma was killed. She was 83, and she'd had a stroke a little over a year ago; the family had been bracing ourselves for the last year that she probably wouldn't be here much longer.

All the same, bracing for something to happen and expecting it to happen on a given day are two different things. Within two days Grandma's five children, two remaining siblings, 16 grandchildren (6 of whom are married, 3 with kids of their own) and a bajillion family friends and extended relatives had been contacted and started making travel plans. We had people coming in from Monterrey, Mexico; New Zealand; San Francisco; Atlanta; driving from eastern Pennsylvania - the family group alone was 41 people. The family spent time together last Sunday night; family viewing was Monday morning, visitation Monday night, funeral #1 (in her current hometown) was Tuesday morning and funeral #2 (in the hometown where she and Grandpa lived for close to 40 years) was Wednesday morning.

One of my hopes headed into the weekend was that I wouldn't go into labor before it was all through. As the days progressed, I started leaning the other direction. Going through labor, yes, but in a private hospital room with nurses to run interference for me - and the added benefit of distant relatives getting to see Baby before they headed back home. Most visiting family members are now on their way home, though, and Baby's still doing dance routines on my ribs. Ah, well.

DH [Dear Husband] and I went out for supper last night at Subway. In the midst of my sandwich, slightly hunched over the table, I got an upward kick in my sternum that felt like a sucker punch to my chin. It was strong enough that I snapped into an upright sitting posture with a sort of dazed look on my face. If I can be charged with child abuse, can babies in utero be charged with parent abuse?

I'm REALLY ready for this little person to be born.

36 Weeks and Counting...

According to BabyCenter.com's weekly email, I should postpone any unnecessary travel plans - particularly anything to do with flying somewhere.

So much for wanting to see New Zealand before this baby's born.

Seriously, I'm just ready for this to be done. Other tasks have gotten difficult in the last few weeks: standing up, sitting down, walking, sleeping, shaving - even trying to stretch out my hamstrings at night before bed. I now have to face almost 45 degrees inside of my leg and stretch kind of sideways; my stomach size doesn't allow any closer interaction.

I have a box of chocolates from my favorite Swiss chocolatier, a paper chain with a link for each day from now until 2 weeks past my due date (I'm trying to set my expectations in advance for going past my due date and possibly being induced), all baby items organized, and just have to pack my bag for the hospital and assemble the list of names and phone numbers to call.

In 28 days or fewer I'll have a baby strapped around my middle in a sling instead of encased in my skin. -Hurry it up already, Baby!

Personal Space

Without my say-so, I have become more European in the matter of personal space: closer is better.

The last week has contained several conversations with Junior regarding the need for my rib cage and internal organs to occupy at least some space in my abdominal cavity. Husband thinks the kicks in the ribs are just practice flutter kicks.

I won't be surprised if this little person emerges from the womb and wants its little face two inches from mine for the first several months of its life - until Baby realizes he/she is American and can't handle being closer than three feet to anyone unless romance or family duty is involved.

Financial Nesting

Ack... Some expectant women nest by picking out paint samples. Since I currently lack a house (I don't think my parents would appreciate it if I suddenly repaint a random room to resemble a nursery), I have to substitute.

I spent a few hours this afternoon sorting through old financial records. Mortgage here, electric bills there, past insurance policy numbers over here, all health records for family members there, car info here, addresses there - oh, wait; looks like that should be split into current and prior folders... I need a bigger filing cabinet.

Don't I lead an exciting life? My afternoon session with paper (and no paper cuts, amazingly enough!) was only matched by watching our dog Sugar lie down in the wading pool and dunk her entire head under water. She's gotten in the habit of lying down (whether out of the pool or in it) to drink. She's either a natural blond or discovering some long-lost bond with her wild African forebears.

MN Survival

Sorry for the long hiatus from posting. I was attacked first by apathy and then influenced for the last week by a lack of computer access.

-But I have SURVIVED!!! What did I survive, you ask? At 32/33 wks pregnant, I willingly took a 7-hr drive to a remote cabin in northern Minnesota that had electricity, running water and heat but no air-conditioning. I not only survived, but I actually enjoyed myself.

For the last decade and more, some segment of my family has gone to Brookside Resort for a week in the summer. This was the first year that all of the kids were there, plus spouses, significant others and children. It was quite a crew to pack into two cabins.

We got back Saturday afternoon to much hotter temps (I escaped back into the air-conditioned house and cranked ceiling fans on high). A nearby locale had a heat index this last week of 118 degrees Fahrenheit.

I think I'll be spending much of this next week indoors.

I Don't Know Whether to Blame Baby or Blondeness

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday afternoon. After being weighed (always a pleasant experience when you're pregnant, trust me), I was sent to the bathroom with my sterile cup to provide the standard urine sample.

I went in, did my business and was fastening my capris (mentally noting to sling the waistband under my burgeoning belly so my doctor could measure my tummy and listen to Baby's heartbeat) - then looked at the sink and saw the still-sealed specimen cup, which was empty.

There have been eight doctor's visits, and each one has maintained certain elements - like providing a urine sample. I have no idea where my brain went for that block of time. I was left wondering whether I should rush into the exam room, glug the entire contents of my water bottle and try to put a rush order through to my bladder OR put pressure on my bladder to deliver even just a little more. Thankfully only a few drops are needed for the tests they run, so Option #2 worked well.

Could've been worse. One of my girlfriends spent the morning of her birthday providing a urine sample at an OB appointment while her 4-yr-old serenaded her with "Onward, Christian Soliders."

At least my dilemma didn't have a soundtrack.

It's Official

...I'm now a certified fuddy-duddy.

Just consider what splendiferous find I rejected this afternoon: perfect maternity underwear from Victoria's Secret.

I made a trip to the mall today to stop by Old Navy and do some other things. Walking past VS, I glanced at the windows and did not a double-take, but a triple-take. One of the mannequins was wearing what I can only describe as reverse-thong underwear: material for both sides of the gluteus maximus, but a gap of material in-between to display the cleft between the buttocks. Don't worry about the whole modesty thing; there were three perky pink satin bows holding the gap closed like safety pins across a gaping tear.

My response: What on earth would you wear over such an underthing? Panty lines have nothing on outlines of bows under a skirt or pants.

My mom's response when I described them: How does one sit down in them? Isn't it uncomfortable to feel bows embedded into one's rear?

Trent's response (which cracked me up): Does this mean you'd no longer have to put your underwear down to go to the bathroom?

Hallelujah that I'm past the age where I would have pooh-poohed this publicly but secretly wanted to have the body to wear them. Now? I wholeheartedly, 100% consider them utterly, insanely ludicrous.

Victoria can keep this secret, for all I care.

I've Got a Terminal Disease...

That's the only explanation I can find where medical insurance is concerned. Outside of being on an employer's plan and not going without coverage for more than 60 days, any insurance company considers pregnancy a pre-existing condition and will not cover someone in my situation: we moved, I had to give up prior insurance (since I was no longer working for the same place), Trent's employer has a reimbursement plan for insurance instead of plans through the company and... we'll be paying the remainder of Baby Stanley's costs out-of-pocket.

I'm really glad we moved from an area where prenatal care and a normal delivery runs $7,000-$10,000 to an area where it's just over $5,000... -Oh, and happy parenting!

In other news, I've come to resemble a storm front: I have my own leading edge. As I explained to Trent today, I no longer bend at the waist - I have to tip forward. Pregnancy is not an upright proposition. I must either tip (to reach forward) or recline (when seated). Here's hoping I can maintain at least a 30 degree range of motion forward and backward until delivery - Trent will have to be tying the drawstring on my shorts/pants, not just tying my shoelaces.

What on Earth Have I Been Doing?!

It continues to astonish me how little I do during the day, yet how little energy I have... Today, I can only say I read, worked on a gift for a friend, attended a home party for Usborne[sic] Books, and slept. It was supposed to be a nap to catch up on missed sleep the night before.

I went to bed at 1:15 p.m. and woke up at 5:06 p.m.

So much for that grand idea of getting back on a 'normal' schedule... I'm only just now feeling sleepy again.

Master, the Monster is Alive!!!

This morning I woke up and thought I had a knot in an abdominal muscle from my sleep position. I probed the knot to see how deep it was - and it moved to the other side of my rib cage.

Revision of diagnosis: knot!=cramp; knot=baby appendage

Talk about bizarre... For a few minutes I felt all over again like I'm hosting some kind of alien that's going to burst out of my abdomen when it's fully matured. Trent told me we won't be watching any of the "Alien" movies or "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" between now and when the baby's born to prevent nightmares.

The kicks/jabs/punches are getting stronger, too. Trent's had his ear against my stomach a couple times now and gotten kicked in the face. Whether Baby knows it or not, he/she has already received lectures about not kicking Daddy. : )

Baby's First Tornado Warning

In the Midwest, severe weather is a foregone conclusion, particularly in spring/early summer or winter. Last night was Baby's first [in utero] exposure to incoming storms... Lights off, local radio station on, all people in the house with flashlights, waiting to see if the sirens blew or not, guys at the windows to watch for the approaching damage, etc. This last item must be a control thing, since it's hard to see anything approaching at 11 p.m.

As usual, the storm actually split around our small town. I'm sure once would be enough, but just once - once - I'd like to actually see a tornado. I feel like my Midwest membership is in question until that day.

Don't get me wrong: it was nice to have a roof over our heads this morning and have everyone in the family alive and uninjured.

Welcome back to springtime in Iowa.

Woo-Hoo!

Read 'em and weep: 10 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. YAY!!!

Now... if I could just convince my three-year-old nephew to sleep past 7 a.m., the rest of the family would be set.

I Got Those Benadryl Blues...

Would someone please tell me how I'm supposed to "get sleep while you can before the baby comes" if my body didn't get the same message?

Sleep has become like a logic problem, with a rapidly decreasing number of solutions. Lying on my stomach? Um... You try sleeping draped over a good-sized melon and let me know how long you last.

Lying on my back? If pregnancy books are to be believed, the baby will (uncaring) cut off blood returning to my heart from my legs as casually as stomping on a garden hose. The result is numb legs and lower oxygen delivery to the baby - it kind of makes me wonder if we're masochistic from conception.

Lying on my left side? This, according to experts, is best. For whatever reason, my body responds to this position by putting the entire left side of my rib cage to sleep - numb, but with tingling sensations that don't let up. It's like trying to sleep while lying on a vibrating massager from Homedics.

Up until last night, lying on my right side worked (provided the pillow configuration was correct; I'm up to four pillows now, three regular-sized, one body pillow). Last night I was determined to get a full night's sleep, so I took two Benadryl. I knew I'd wake up the morning after with a really dried out nose and mouth, but I value sleep more at this point than moist nasal passages.

Last night the Benadryl betrayed me. I learned later that antihistamines can kick off Restless Legs Syndrome in pregnant women. RLS is a lovely, innocuous acronym for a tingling sensation or even waves of pain in your legs. The mind associates the sensations with muscle cramping or nerves falling asleep. Solution? Move your legs. Problem? To sleep, you have to ignore these sensations for X amount of time until you fall asleep.

I finally fell asleep in a recliner in the family room around 2:30 this morning, trying to keep my mind off the tingling. I woke at 4, moved to a couch, slept 'til 5:30, then went back to bed and crashed until after 10.

No Benadryl tonight. I guess my body will let me sleep when I really need it.

Chinese Water Torture

I decided last Friday to bathe our two dogs (one 70 lbs., the other 45-50 lbs.). I'm not completely clueless - I used a wading pool and a hose.

My miscalculation didn't involve forgetting shampoo, tying the dogs up as I washed them, or even wearing my swimsuit (all of which I remembered). No, my error in judgment wasn't clear until that night when I realized I'd gotten badly sunburned - as in, you can tell what sort of back my swimsuit has without my swimsuit being anywhere in the vicinity.

Problem #2 (which resulted in the Chinese water torture analogy): I'm just enough allergic to sun that my skin itches unbearably for the 48-72 hours following a bad sunburn, even when I've used lotion with lidocaine on it.

Trying to get a full night's sleep while 5 months pregnant and suffering the allergic reaction of a sunburn is futile. I can state with certainty that the clock beside my bed is still functioning at each hour of the early morning - I've seen it.

I'm still fighting the urge to scratch my shoulders.

Crashing

So sorry for the lack of posts... No sooner did we close out a chapter of our lives (put our house on the market, give notice at our jobs, pack up, say goodbyes and move to the small town where I grew up) then my husband started his new job and my body rebelled. For the last two weeks I've had cold #4 since January - massive congestion/runny nose (would someone PLEASE explain how these two things can happen at the same time?!) interrupted with hacking coughs. I usually get one cold every other year. Greater love hath no mother, I guess.

Headed an hour south today with my sister-in-law (who is also expecting) to the nearest Target. It's baby registry time! Hopefully she won't feel nauseated and I won't feel absolutely drained by the time we get home. Maybe lunch and I.C. mochas at Panera plus a visit to Barnes & Noble will help...

Put in Perspective

I got an email from a buddy stationed in Iraq; his unit is one of those patroling Baghdad, and up until now, it's been pretty boring (his words).

Not so anymore:
Things have been quiet in Baghdad since we got here... stuff happens but not around our area. Maybe we get some info about some guys who are anti-coalition and we do a raid and sometimes we find weapons. Mostly it's like being a beat cop... you ride around watching to make sure everyone is behaving. It really doesn't give me much to talk about...

That changed last night. Our 1st platoon, while out on patrol, took contact from about three men, and while distracted, another man drove a car filled with explosives into their squad. Two of my friends were killed instantly... four others were wounded, two of them severely enough to warrant them being moved to a higher level hospital in Germany. Needless to say, the mood has been pretty gray here all day... there are questions that seem to have no answer, and things don't make sense... trying to think about what happened is useless, because our minds can't fit around the situation... we just all somehow know that we lost two of our brothers last night to an act of terrorism.

Make no mistake: it has not shaken our resolve to carry out our mission here and fulfill our sworn duty to the people of the United States and to the people of Iraq whom we vowed to defend... I believe that if anything it will strengthen our will to rid this country of terrorists.

The reason I let you all know about this is so that you can continue to pray for the guys here, specifically for the six fallen men. One of the KIA's was twenty-two years old, married with an unborn child... he had plans to attend college and pursue a degree in sound engineering. The second KIA was a twenty-year-old kid, unmarried, who was dedicated to serving the country in the army... he talked about nothing else. He was like everybody's kid brother, always tagging along trying to do what the big kids were doing... he wanted to go out for Special Forces with me when we got back after this deployment. I think he would have made it, too, with a little more maturity... he certainly had the heart.

So... please remember them and their families... they will need your prayers.

I am and will remain safe in God's hand - I love you all very much.

God bless and keep thee, even though you're half a world away - I'm fiercely proud of being able to call you my friend.

From Ships to Shoes to Sealing Wax...

-no cabbages or kings today, though; my apologies to Lewis Carroll.

I work in a front office as the main secretary, and the broad ranging requests I get... I've had to track down a missing baby gerbil, figure out when a wood-carving class met, answer a question of whether rain fell on the earth prior to the Great Flood - you name it, I've probably had it.

Today it included figuring out which genus specie of fig tree was the biblical one and how tall they grow (ficus carica and 30', if you wanted to know) and if it's possible to make gummy candy at home.

I'm an information geek; I like to know how to do things or what they mean or how they work. The internet and libraries (to say nothing of bookstores) are my friends - particularly this site, which is a gathering site for used bookstores around the world. I've found all kinds of incredible deals on books there...

Is it any wonder I'm paranoid I'll have a child that doesn't want to learn?

Life is Never So Bad...

...that it couldn't be worse. I don't know if 'worse' in this case is that Ms. Spears is about the same point in her pregnancy as I am in mine, or if 'worse' would be going through pregnancy under the hot lights of tabloidal glare. Just imagine if there'd been eager photographers snapping pictures of me at 5:30 this morning regurgitating a recently-ingested pear down the garbage disposal...

I would say that pregnancy symptoms and Hollywood don't mix, but hormonal swings, a skin glow, weight fluctuation, mammary alteration, appetite abnormalities, marital miscommunications and unaccountable brain absences are right up Hollywood's alley. Maybe I should be saying that Hollywood's the perfect place to get pregnant; I mean, c'mon... who'd notice a difference in behavior?

Recipe for Insanity

Take one (somewhat) normal couple, add two lab-sized dogs and allow to marinate for a couple years.

Now add in a pregnancy, a job change (out of state), sorting/packing/staging/selling a house, moving aforementioned dogs and blend for a period of three weeks.

We move May 2nd.

I think I'm gonna' cry - that or sleep for the next 20 days; I don't know which yet.

Nesting and No-no's

Hel-looo, nesting instinct...
Last night I wiped down all kitchen cabinets and drawer fronts (38 of those turkeys) with Orange-Glo wood cleaner/polish. You'd have thought the Midwest had its first citrus grove.

I also attempted to clean the brass pulls for all of those doors and drawers, which was less successful. Now, I may be nesting, but I'm not stupid; no scrubbing for hours with a rag and nasty-smelling metal polishing agent. I found a site that said I could soak them in ketchup or vinegar for two hours, wash with cool water and a soft nail brush, and voila! Bright, shiny, clean brass pulls!

I overlooked a gross assumption: you must first have brass pulls. Ours, I discovered while scrubbing, are brass-plated pulls.

Turns out two hours in vinegar removes brass plating. Who'd a'thunk it?

-Oh, and we realized this morning that after unloading groceries last evening, we forgot to close the driver's side back door on my car. It was still open this morning. Hallelujah for the neighborhood we live in; I think the pregnant-stupids must be contagious...