April 04, 2006

Feeling Crushed?

Ever wondered why it seems like we learn so much more during the hard blows life throws? The hard times in my life don't seem easier later on, but they do seem... sweeter, somehow. Do I want to go through them again? No thank you. At the same time, there's a heart-level sort of learning that happens during those times that never sinks in during the la-dee-dah experiences.

I was thinking about this recently and realized there's a parallel in nature. Herbs (pronounced "erb," not "herb") only release their fragrance and flavor when they're crushed or torn in some way.

It's almost like our lives don't bring fragrance or beauty to someone else until we have been crushed or torn in some way.

Something to ponder.

Nathan has started pulling himself up to a standing position using people, couches or whatever's available. He's not always successful, mind you. It's rather frightening to realize he doesn't have the balance to sit up, yet he's using his arms to pull himself up as high as he possibly can just to see what the change in view is like.

Having him turn 180 degrees from the videos stored beneath the TV, crawl toward me, climb into my lap and scale my chest so he can stand up, look me in the face and grin turns my heart into a puddle.

This is one of those little things that makes 3 a.m. feedings feel paid for.

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