March 24, 2005

Saving the Chest for Last...

Pregnancy has, er, significantly altered facets of my physique.

I'm not suddenly an automatic implant suspect in the spirit of, say, Spamela Anderson, but I could technically give a believable interview at Hooters - at least until my stomach protuded from beneath the skimpy halter top. Do they have redneck-ian versions of Hooters?

Though I used to think it might be nice to be more well-endowed, now I'm not so sure. I keep running into these things. Rolling over in bed at night was never so fraught with peril. Before, things stayed put and out of the way of arms, pillows, other skin... Now? There's immediate pain if I forget to factor in added bust size - never mind that it's 2 a.m., when my brain is always on vacation and I'm never in a pleasant mood.

It's also dismaying to realize that outfitting these new features could cost a significant chunk o' change. I have plenty of serviceable bras - and they used to fit, and may someday fit again, post-baby. For now? I really don't cotton to the idea (or silk, for that matter; har har) of shelling out X times $20 to make sure I'm decently attired above the waist. I'm down to four that I can wear - and let me tell you how slim the wardrobe can get if all you have clean is a bra that's navy blue. Sheesh.

So... they're nice to have for test drives; I like a bit of the gratis 'feminine mystique' they grant me, but... can I have mine back? Please?

1 comment:

amy said...

Susan, try having a bra size that they don't make in America. I have to order from Britian, and because of, they're terribly expensive. So, yeah, I only own 3, and I'm not even pregnant. Woe to the day I do become pregnant...I think I'll just become a hippie then and burn them all.