March 13, 2006

Shudder Lane

I think it will be a Good Thing(tm) once we're in our own house without cable TV again.

Trent & I have talked about this. I tend to turn into a helpless addict if the TV is on - a sort of ADD compulsion to watch it if it's on rather than walk away. While spending some time with Nathan this afternoon, I flipped through channels and came across Cheerleader Nation. Watching it was a trip down memory lane - and not all of those memories were good ones.

In a matter of minutes I remembered going through flag corp camp with snotty juniors and contemptuous seniors, sitting on a hard gym floor as the volleyball coach ran through the list of who made JV and who made varsity, watching the popular girls flirt with their boyfriends and look incredible in bathing suits while I huddled in a far corner on my towel with a book, and (above all of these) the irritation I had with conversation time spent on stupid subjects. Who cares whether this freshman is getting above herself by trying to break out of her clique and hang with the upperclassmen? Why does it matter if that senior has never gone out for something until her last year and thinks she can make the team/squad/roster/choir/cast?

So much of high school is usually spent being uncomfortable in your own skin; you're so concerned about others articulating your shortcomings that you find it hard to believe they have any. I alternated between anxiety about not fitting in and irritation that my peers were being so immature and shallow. It didn't change until college.

You couldn't pay me enough money to put me back in junior high or high school.

Ugh. [shudder]

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