January 08, 2006

Love/Hate Situation

I finally have a male in my life who wants to be with me rather than anyone else. If I leave him, he literally cries. He doesn't like other women singing to him; he smiles at me for less-than-pleasant tasks like having cold wet wipes dragged across his rear end; if I walk away, he'll eventually whimper until I come back; when I hold him closely, he snuggles into my neck. That's the 'love' part of this equation.

On the flip side, I have someone who's pretty much a leech. He refuses to go to someone else; I rarely get time away from him; he'll whine until I pay attention to him; he can't give me anything or do much of anything for me; he pretty much sees me as a food source and takes my time and energy for granted; I'm stuck with less-than-glamorous chores where he's concerned - rear-end wiping, feeding, burping, vomit clean-up, consoling in the midst of ear-piercing screams... That's the 'hate' portion of the equation.

My mood seems to swing from one side to the other on any given day: too much time with him, I start to focus on the negatives. Too much time away from him (which is anything more than a couple hours) and I'm focused on the positives.

He's still cute, and his baby interactions are much more fun at 4 months than they were at 2 weeks. He's big, though. 15-16 pounds and more than 2 feet long. I can't tell you how comforting it is to me that even Trent's arms get sore holding him. I get a good forearm work-out every time I feed him.

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